Achieve More, Reduce Stress, and Live Happier When You Eliminate Negative Emotions From Your Life Forever
When's the last time you had a negative thought?
A few days ago?
Maybe you thought something you were attempting to do was too difficult …
… so you decided it was time to give up because you felt you just weren't good enough at it.
Perhaps a friend or relative said something that frustrated you and made you bubble over with anger.
If you find yourself having more negative thoughts than you'd like, please read on. Because what I'm about to tell you today could have a huge impact on your life.
You see, I was listening to Brian Tracy's excellent audio program, "The Psychology of Achievement," recently. My ears perked up when he announced he was about to cover "the most astonishing discovery of his adult life."
Now, Brian Tracy is a pretty amazing guy, so coming from him, this was a huge statement.
Here's what Tracy said …
"It's possible to live life without negative emotions."
Now, even though I consider myself a pretty easygoing guy, I had always thought, or perhaps assumed, that negative emotions are part of life.
Not necessarily a good part, of course, but life is not all roses and chocolate cake – and there are times when you're not always going to be the most positive and cheerful human being on the planet, right?
His statement was a real eye-opener, to say the least.
As Tracy points out, it's contrary to what you read and hear about in pop psychology. Some experts tell us that negative emotions are part of life and that it's okay, even healthy, to have them at times as long as you control and confront them.
But as Tracy asks …
How do you feel when you're angry at someone? Do you feel good?
Of course not.
When we're angry, we tend to stop thinking rationally and often say things we quickly regret. Plus, our ability to get along with others often evaporates.
It's like our thoughts are operating in a thick, black fog.
Making it almost impossible to be productive, which as freelancers, can mean a serious reduction in the money we're able to make on the days we're affected.
Tracy points out that all the misery and unhappiness in the world springs out of negative emotions. Alcoholism … drug addition … suicide … crime … family problems – plus, most diseases such as heart disease, arthritis, and even cancer take root because of negative emotions.
According to Tracy, there are a total of 54 negative emotions, with six main ones: doubt, fear, guilt, resentment, envy, and jealousy.
We've all experienced one or more of those in our lives, haven't we? So how do we eliminate negative emotions from our lives forever?
It's not easy – but it can be done. And like anything you do, the more you do something, the better you'll become at mastering it. I've broken down Tracy's formula into five steps:
Step One– Recognize and understand the two "nutrients" driving negative emotions. The first nutrient is "Justification." We only experience negative emotions to the degree that we can justify them. We tell ourselves that we have a right to feel this way because of something someone did or because of a situation or event that has occurred. If we can't justify our negative emotions to ourselves (or someone else), they begin to disappear.
The second nutrient is "Identification." We experience negative emotions to a level equal to what we personally identity with. A tragedy occurs halfway around the world, and while it's a terrible thing, we sometimes don't give it a second thought. Yet someone is rude to us and we let it affect us for hours, even days. It has a greater impact on us because we identify with it and it affects us personally.
- Step Two– It's important we recognize that negative emotions are a sign of insincerity and weak character. That's not how you want to think of yourself, right? Remind yourself that there is nothing noble or virtuous about negative emotions.
- Step Three– Tracy uses a tree metaphor to explain how the negative emotion process works. A tree derives its nutrients from its root. In our Negative Emotions Tree, "Justification" and "Identification" are the nutrients that feed the root. The fastest way to kill the Negative Emotions Tree is to cut down the trunk. The trunk is "blame." It's simply not possible to have a negative emotion without blaming someone or something. The instant we stop blaming others for an event or a situation, our negative emotions vanish.
- Step Four –So how does one stop blaming others or events? We take full responsibility for our actions and the situations we find ourselves in. Once we take responsibility, there is no longer anyone or anything to blame.
- Step Five –The fifth and final step is to replace any thoughts of blame by saying the following affirmation to ourselves: "I am responsible," as many times as need be. Tracy says that next to "I like myself," saying, "I am responsible," is the most powerful affirmation you can use. When you do this, you'll instantly find yourself calmer, clearer of mind, and more positive. Plus, it's impossible to still have negative emotions flowing through your mind because our minds can only focus on one thing at a time.
Tracy adds that while you might grit your teeth at the start, as time goes by, you'll find it much easier to stop blaming others and take responsibility for every incident and interaction that happens in your life.
He tells us that the kindest thing we can do for someone is to say to them …
"Yes, I understand you're having a problem, but you are responsible for your life. What are you going to do about it?"
If the person generally wants advice, they will be appreciative of your suggestion. If they have no intention of making things better and just like to hear themselves gripe and complain, the more you remind them that they have to take responsibility for themselves, the less they'll talk to you.
As anyone who has been alive for a while knows, life is far too short. And it's certainly too short to waste time filling our minds and bringing ourselves down with negative, unconstructive thinking.
Next time you feel a negative thought creeping into your head, put Tracy's formula into action – you'll be more productive and have peace of mind at the end of each and every day.
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