Make a Choice: Victim or Victor

"When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye."

— Anon

If you read back through recent posts, I think you’ll see a trend. For weeks, I’ve written about planning ahead, concentrating on basics, focusing on fabulous, making sure you’re doing what makes you happy.

I’ve been writing about the most basic choice we make each day. Can you guess what that is?

We choose to move forward, or choose to move backward. Each of us gets to choose.

One choice slowly, surely, helps you feel like a victim. Life starts happening to you. You spend your days reacting. You have problems, you feel as though things ought to be different, you don’t know how to escape, and ultimately, you’re stuck where you’ve always been.

Another choice takes you out of the status quo. You make decisions, you keep trying, you step in messes but you clean up and keep walking. You choose a way even though you don’t quite know where you’re going. You’re on a path to victory.

Are we victors, victims, or are we somehow — both at the same time?

I’m usually both, if I’m honest. I get distracted, worn out, pessimistic, cynical. I let household issues and weather and my sore wrist and missing checks get in the way of my happiness. I fall back into reacting, complaining, wishing things were different — because it’s easier.

But there are times, like today, where I am loaded for bear, out for blood, riding hell for leather, chopping through the weeds with the machete of my words, determined to make difficulty disappear and difference happen — today.

I’m inconsistent. But there’s a way out of my inconsistency.

As Pee Wee Herman said in his first movie, “The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back!

In case you haven’t noticed, we’re on a path 99% of people won’t ever follow. There’s the possibility of risk, danger, fear. There’s also potential for joy, delight, laughter, freedom.

Which will you choose — every day?

Here’s Pee Wee Herman’s trick — always stay focused on the positive possible.

If you ever saw Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure, his bike, which he lived for, was taken away from him, and he went on a quest to get it back. After difficulty … after complexity … after catastrophe, he surmounted the insurmountable, achieved the impossible, found his bike, won the girl, and lived happily ever after.

We’ll all be confronted by difficulty. Struggles happen. In the past few weeks, I’ve wrestled with computer failures, illness, someone keying my car, my dying grandmother, client difficulties, and who knows what else.

I’ve been distracted, grief-stricken, down in the dumps, exasperated, and deflected lately. But I’ve also chosen to keep focused on the positive possible, and wherever I’ve looked, I’ve found it.

So I ask you — what’s your choice? Positive or negative? Forward or backward?

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Published: November 12, 2012

1 Response to “Make a Choice: Victim or Victor”

  1. I enjoyed your article, Brian. Thanks so much!

    How does the saying go? The choices we make determine the chances we take. Very appropriate for this topic...

    Thanks again!

    RNin2013November 12, 2012 at 12:52 pm


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