Using the Golden Thread to Get Your Prospect to Take Notice
I’m glad to see you back!
Yesterday I shared a core secret to effective persuasive writing from one of my Circle of Success blog entries … the crucial importance of offering real benefits in your writing.
I left you with this question: Where do you offer those benefits?
Let’s answer that question by looking an example from an alternative health promotion we study in depth in the Circle of Success Targeted Learning Program.
(While this example comes from copywriting, this same approach works with all types of persuasive writing.)
We start by knowing that your prospect wants her joints to stop aching. And, she wants to do it naturally. Here’s the promise in master copywriter Kent Komae’s long-running Mt. Home Nutritionals promo:
“In the future, this is how people will soothe stiff joints and ease discomfort. Only you don’t have to wait. You can start right now!”
Using this promise, you come up with many strong benefits. Let’s focus on being able to do important activities without worrying about prescription drug side effects as your big benefit.
You want to get this powerful promise/benefit combination into your headline and lead within the first 100 words or so. Do that, and your joint-suffering prospect takes notice.
Once you get the promise and benefits into your writing, do you let them drop?
Not!
Many mediocre writers don’t understand you want to weave your promise and benefits throughout the entire piece. We call this the Golden Thread.
Don’t drop the thread …
After this strong beginning, you start painting a colorful, visual “picture,” so your reader can see herself benefiting from what you’re offering. You describe daily activities vital to her life: knitting, playing catch with the grandchildren, helping out in church.
It’s easy to keep focus on the promise/benefit in the lead and picture part of your writing. But there comes a time when you have to give some type of proof of the effectiveness of what you’re offering.
This is where many writers drop the Golden Thread. They give data and details to prove what they’re saying. But they forget to return to the promise and benefits.
Big mistake. It’s vital to weave your Golden Thread through this part.
Let’s say you want to prove a natural herb is effective in easing joint pain. After briefly citing two studies, weave in the Golden Thread:
“You can see how effective this side-effect-free natural herb is for keeping your joints supple and young. Young enough to pick up the knitting basket again. Or … [and so on].”
Most writers drop the Golden Thread at this point. (Not you, now, right?) But those who don’t almost always forget about it at the close, where you ask your reader to take action.
This, again, is a big mistake. It doesn’t matter what type of persuasive writing you’re doing, your purpose is to get action. The Golden Thread reminds your reader why taking that action is important for her.
The Golden Thread in the close gives her a reason for doing what you ask based on why she started reading in the first place … the promise and benefits you offered her.
Should you consciously include the Golden Thread throughout your copy?
Yes, you should. But it can be hard to do without practice. So, after you’ve finished writing, go back into your copy and make sure you haven’t broken it. If you have, pick it up and pull it through.
When you do, you’ll be pulling your prospect through to the point in your writing she says, “YES!”
I hope you return tomorrow when we’ll be looking at one of every writer’s biggest bugaboos: Writers block!
I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. But before you leave, please let me know what you think so far. Leave your comments and questions in the comment section.
The Professional Writers’ Alliance
At last, a professional organization that caters to the needs of direct-response industry writers. Find out how membership can change the course of your career. Learn More »
Hi, Mr. Newman! I am a new AWAI member and plan to begin the program very soon. I am a fiction writer and received an absolutely glowing review from the Mount Everest of review journals, PUBLISHERS WEEKLY. But I haven't seen an upswing in sales - I simply can not seem to tap into that mainstream audience. I am working on a 3rd novel but if it is all in vain, I question pursuing it. When I read about AWAI, I immediately thought of putting my Bachelors in Creative Writing to use.
Real McCoy – May 5, 2015 at 12:30 pm
Good Tuesday morning, Will...
The Golden Thread is mentioned in AWAI courses. However, not to the depth you shared.
I'm starting to see the value of being a CoS member...
~joseph
Joseph Lacey – May 5, 2015 at 1:20 pm
Hi Real McCoy,
Please call me Will.
Congratulations on the glowing review in Publisher's Weekly. My mother was a bookseller and that was her bible. I have a suggestion: Use what you learn as a copywriter to help boost sales. Copywriting really is nothing more than persuasive writing and getting sales comes from persuading your potential readers of the benefits of reading your books.
Good luck on book #3.
Will
Will Newman – May 5, 2015 at 1:28 pm
Mr Newman, You have again offered a strong visual to someone who enjoys sewing by hand....the golden thread. To drop it spells disaster. And I see that keeping your prospect's EYE ON THE BALL is crucial. I get it, BUT I will endeavor to learn the seamless reintroduction of the thread, again and again. THAT is the challenge. Hold onto the thread, but keep it going FORWARD. Your thinking, your advice, your kind ways ALL come into play when reading you. I feel very lucky indeed. Thnx, Jackie S
Guest (Jackie S of NH) – May 5, 2015 at 1:30 pm
Hello Joseph,
It's great hearing from one of my COS students. I hope things are going well for you.
I'll be covering the Golden Thread in even greater depth in a COS blog on 5/25. I hope to see you there.
Take care,
Will
Will Newman – May 5, 2015 at 1:31 pm
Hello Jackie,
Please call me Will.
Indeed, seamless reintroduction of the Golden Thread is key . . . but it's not difficult and gets easier as you get practice using it. As you're writing, you start getting this nagging feeling. "Hmm, I haven't mentioned the promise recently" (or benefits). So you find a way to subtly work it in.
Thank you very much for your comments.
Will (not Mr. Newman)
Will Newman – May 5, 2015 at 1:36 pm
Dear Will,
Hello, just wanted to let you know I am finding your tutorial a real bonus to,"The Accelerated Program for Six-Figure Copywriting", course I have only just begun! Thank you in GOLD!
Question: What would the example look like in the closing statement using the promise/benefit? I wish you would have shown how Kent Komae Sewed-Up the,"Golden Thread", tying it seamlessly through to the finish.
I look forward to your next lesson!
Best wishes, Sean
Guest (Sean ) – May 5, 2015 at 2:31 pm
yes, it's like a flow, or everything else follows naturally, or by second nature. one comes after the other, so on & so forth.
learned something! thank you, that was great!
Guest (rissa) – May 5, 2015 at 3:24 pm
Hello Will, I am really enjoying your teaching and looking forward to learning more from you. I am not yet a member, as I can't afford any of the great programs AWAI is offering, but my soul yearns to write, but I'm afraid to market myself without professional training. I have previously received positive comments on my short stories, etc., but I don't know if I am good enough to make a living and feed my kids from, as yet. I hope to continue reading your advise for free until later.
Thank you
Guest (Yanna) – May 5, 2015 at 6:19 pm
Hi will,
Your letter opened my eyes up to a lot. I was very impressed.
I'm not really a writer but I think I would love it. I wasn't an inventor in 2009 but yet I invented a Christian board game and a food processor and I had to do a lot of writing for both. I figure if I can write for them. I should be able to write anything.
Thanks for the lesson it was wonderful,
God Bless, Pat
Guest (Patricia ) – May 5, 2015 at 9:53 pm
Hi, It is really important for the copy that the chain of benefits and promises should not break at any time. The golden thread technique, suggested by you, is the pillar of your copy. If, while writing, your golden thread breaks it will not only mar the effectiveness of your copy but also your talent. Keeping in mind the theory of golden thread, while writing, is very important.
Mahesh Seelvi – May 6, 2015 at 6:51 am
Hi Sean,
Thank you for your positive comments. Unfortunately, the length of these articles (about 500-600 words) doesn't allow going into as much depth as is necessary to give a complete look at various aspects of copywriting.
A simple way to pull the Golden Thread through to the close would be something like:
"So if you want to ensure supple, youthful joints . . . joints that let you play freely once again with your grandchildren . . . make the decision right now to get the relief you need. Click here to [etc.]"
This is pretty generic, but I think it gives you the idea. If you need more information, drop me an email.
Best wishes,
Will
Will Newman – May 6, 2015 at 11:46 am
Hello Risa,
Thank you for your comments. Yes, the Golden Thread can flow naturally. But it takes practice and careful attention to make sure it happens.
Best wishes,
Will
Will Newman – May 6, 2015 at 11:48 am
Hello Yanna,
I understand your reluctance to market yourself without training. I also understand needing to hold off on buying the AWAI programs because of finances. The information you get in The Writer's Life should help build your skills, but as I told Sean above, this venue doesn't allow as much depth as you'd get in the program.
I'll continue this note in my next comment.
Will Newman – May 6, 2015 at 11:55 am
Continuing my comment to Yanna:
I'm well aware of financial constraints, having faced them early in my career. I don't want to sell you anything, but you might want to see if you can set up a payment plan for the Accelerated Program or figure how much you'd have to save a month to be able to swing it. I'm NOT an AWAI employees, so I can't give you that information. Keep reading The Writer's Life for now. And WRITE! Anything. But write.
Best wishes,
Will
Will Newman – May 6, 2015 at 11:56 am
Hi Pat,
Thank you for your kind words. But I have to disagree with you. You say you are not a writer, but you wrote your comment; didn't you? If you can do that (and invent the items you did), you can be a writer.
Look into it. I think you'd be surprised how straightforward copywriting can be
Blessings to you, too.
Will
Will Newman – May 6, 2015 at 11:58 am
Hello Mashesh,
Thank you for commenting. I do want to clarify one thing. I am not the author of the idea of the Golden Thread. Mark Ford gets that honor. He and other great copywriters developed and expanded the concept.
Best wishes,
Will
Will Newman – May 6, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Hi Will, As an AWAI student, of course I've heard about the Golden Thread before, but there was something about your description and examples that really made it click in a more solid way.
Thank you. Always enjoy your writing.
Cecelia
Cecelia – May 7, 2015 at 8:44 pm
Thanks Will! I finally truly grasped the concept behind "The Golden Thread" after reading your explanation in this article. My writing background is in business and legal. It calls for a very organized, concise manner of writing so I'm working at re-training myself as I make my way through the Accelerated Program. I look forward to learning more from you and the other wonderful writers in AWAI!
Guest (Bev W) – May 13, 2015 at 11:33 pm
Hello Will, Thank-you for the Golden Thread concept.....it is important to me in my other "mad brained" hobby of crochet, and is also critical there or the garment just doesn't come together!
How it applies to persuasive writing is still mostly a tantalizing mystery to me! am looking forward to learning more...
Gigi – June 22, 2015 at 5:33 pm
You're welcome, Bev.
I understand having to retrain yourself out of formalistic writing. Try this: Every time you have to write copy of some sort, start out as a letter to a friend. Spend 2, 3, 4 or more paragraphs just chatting to your friend. Then quietly transition into the copy.
I hope this helps.
Will
Will Newman – June 22, 2015 at 10:36 pm
Hello Gigi,
The best way to understand the Golden Thread is to read excellent copy and analyze how the copywriter keeps coming back to the promise and the benefits. You can do a really good job of this by writing out those letters and analyzing them for the Golden Thread as you do.
Good luck on this and on your crocheting.
Will
Will Newman – June 22, 2015 at 10:39 pm