Ask Yourself What You "Can't" Have
Mindy Tyson McHorse here, continuing the discussion on how to figure out what you want in life — and how to get it.
Here at The Writer’s Life, we constantly talk about the writer’s lifestyle and how great it is. We play up the perks of working from home and not having a boss. We point out that having a freelance business means there’s no ceiling on your income.
It’s all true.
But my question to you is, does that kind of lifestyle really appeal to you?
To answer that, you’ve got to dig deep and really visualize the kind of life you want.
This means you have to go beyond the perks of working from home and being in charge of your time. Because that’s just what they are — perks. They’re not goals.
Think about why you want more command over your time and income.
A good trick to doing this is to ask yourself what you can’t have. Then force yourself to consider whether you’d want those things if you could have them.
Here’s where it gets challenging: you must also admit you deserve to have what you want — regardless of what your parents had, regardless of what your friends have, regardless of the economy.
Too often, we listen to the dreams and ideas of others. They end up running our lives, and we don’t even realize it. Parents are often guilty of this: “We come from a family of doctors, so my daughter must also be a doctor.” Or the flipside: “People like us don’t get rich.”
They have the best of intentions, but they end up blocking any expression of your real self and your true calling.
If you’ve been told you can’t have or do or be a certain thing, you tend to stop wanting it — at least, that’s the case on the surface. You may still secretly want it deep down, but you’ve shut off the part of your brain that acknowledges it.
That’s where this question comes in handy: what can’t you have?
If you have enough guts to voice your dream — especially if it’s a dream that’s bigger and bolder than the dreams of those around you — friends and critics will discourage you. They’ll tell you your dream is impossible.
The writer’s life is about realizing the impossible. It’s about breaking past the status quo barrier. It’s also about connecting with people who encourage you to go for your goals instead of holding you back. If I hadn’t found supportive friends, I never would have hit six figures last year (I met those friends at Bootcamp, by the way).
Now I live a life where my days are my own. I decide how I spend my time. I'm not under the thumb of a hyper-controlling boss. I don't view my calendar in blocks of annual leave.
And instead of making small, regular plans, I’m thinking big. I could feasibly have my house paid off in just three more years. I like that my husband has the option of quitting his job if he chooses. My schedule is flexible enough to allow for home-schooling my kids.
If you’re wondering what this has to do with copywriting, it’s simple. Your freelance career is how you’ll break that status quo barrier. It’s the means to your goal. The vehicle that takes you to where you want to be.
That’s been the case for me and a ton of other people — check out the Wall of Fame for proof.
Now sit down and think. What is it you’ve always been told you can’t have in life that you really want? Feel free to share it with me by posting a comment below.
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